hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize