is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
