what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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