Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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