It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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