Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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