don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I fill condoms, not promises.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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