I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
