He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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