part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
