So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
