do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
