I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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