I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize