i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
