talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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