someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Terrible idea I love it
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
