One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
