you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
