i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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