just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
do nipples grow back?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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