batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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