I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
