how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
