Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
