You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
