Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
