the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
