I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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