No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize