Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
