I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
