I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
