never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
