As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he was CRYING into my vagina
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
