I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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