Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
