the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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