Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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