Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
