she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
