forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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