There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
