this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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