Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize