Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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