Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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