He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
