that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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