do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He called his prostate his "boner button".
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
