College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize