Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
