here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
smell my finger.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Boobs are out for the taking
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
