I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
