I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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