Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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