I think im going to throw up on grandma
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The power of my boobs compel you
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
