I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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