Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
