Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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