All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
