I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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