so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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