Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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