did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
