whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
