I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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