i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
