I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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