I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
