we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
